Once upon a time, I went to a school called Hyper Island.
It was located in Karlskrona, Sweden.
In order to join the school, students had to submit a solution to a creative task.
Once they had completed this task they were selected to participate in a workshop day.
During this day they had to collaborate with other students on creative tasks and were judged by the teachers of the school.
The school had many applicants and joining was therefore not guaranteed.
After attending this workshop day, I received a letter that my application had been rejected.
So I cried a little and went back to my job.
No big deal.
Months later, during work, I received an email that I had the opportunity to join the school as someone had dropped out.
Only thing was; The class had already begun.
That day.
I had 48 hours to respond.
But I did not need 48 hours.
24 hours later I found myself in a foreign country without a place to live.
I was now staring at a black door in a beautiful hallway with panorama windows.
Behind the black door I could hear my soon-to-be classmates chatting away.
Up until then I had been quite timid, shy and meek.
Arriving a day late as the only person can be quite terrifying.
But at this moment I decided I was going to present myself as a happy, energetic, outgoing and confident person.
I took a deep breath, put on a big smile and opened the door.
And for the following days and weeks, I acted out this character that I imagined.
One of my classmates later remarked;
"I could barely recognise you. First time I saw you, you were this shy and timid guy who didn't say anything, and in comes this big smiling confident Dane."
What had changed?
Nothing.
Only how I saw myself in my mind.
And my behaviour reflected that towards everyone I met.
Monkey See, Monkey Judge
I am telling you this story because how you present yourself can make your life one hundred times easier or worse.
Appearance matters.
Energy matters.
Confidence matters.
Despite how we look, we are still primates.
You are judged in a snapshot.
Wearing formal clothes? Suddenly you are "Mr.".
Looking like a thug? Any authoritative figure will be watching you.
Life is theater and performance.
You might say; "Well, people shouldn't judge".
And you may be right.
But here's what I've learned in my mere 30 years of existence;
They do.
Start Roleplaying
So why not allow appearance it to work in your favour?
When you play a roleplaying game like Dungeons & Dragons, each player takes time to write all the details about their character.
Details such as looks, attributes, abilities and skills.
Take some time and think about who you want to be.
Think about the looks, attributes, abilities and skills this person would have.
And start acting like this person when meeting new people.
Suddenly you become this person.
And what's more, due to a psychological phenomenon called "Consistency-Bias", you will not want to let others think you are an impostor and therefore will actually start unconsciously to act like this person you've created in your mind.
Take some time to write down who you want to be and how you want the world to see you.
Then work on your character.
Start roleplaying.
We're All Actors
Everyone is an actor, but everyone are not aware of it.
You'll probably need a new wardrobe.
But it doesn't have to be expensive.
Whenever I am tinkering with my looks I usually opt for the cheapest version of a clothing piece that I am looking for.
Then, if I like it and wear it a lot, I'll get an expensive well made similar clothing piece.
There is much more to this, but it will take another article to write and will be written about in a future article.
The most important takeaway from this article is using this exercise;
1) Note who you are right now, seen from the outside.
2) Note who you want to be and the looks, attributes, values and skills that person portray.
3) Start creating an image of that person, what they wear and how they act.
4) Muster all of your courage and start acting like that person.
Friend Or Foe?
Once you try this concept out with strangers, you will be shocked about the difference in how they treat you.
About how the world reflects your appearance.
Your acquaintances, friends and family will be the toughest part.
They will look at you like; "Oh, it's just a phase. That's weird. Why are you doing this?"
Unless you're extremely lucky and have very accepting people around you, but we're not relying on luck.
It takes people you know the longest to adjust.
But they will adjust, or reveal they don't want you to be who you want to be.
And that's fine, people are tribal.
Once you start wearing a new uniform, some will see it as you joining the enemy.
In medieval times if your kingdom wore blue, the enemy kingdom wore red and you started wearing red, you wouldn't be too popular either.
But alas, it's time to end this article.
In short, be careful and mindful about how you present yourself.
It determines how the world treats you.
See you in the next one.
/ Mads