Please note this section is part two, you can find the first part here: The Helper.

 

I am currently reading the book Personality Types by Don Richard.

It is quite a fascinating book that goes in-depth of character types that are common throughout civilisation.

In this series I will summarise each type and what makes them unique.

I thought it was fun to learn more about myself.

The book describes which activities you should avoid according to your personality, and which activities will be healthy for you to grow.

 

 

 

Personality Type

The Motivator

The second type is The Motivator. 

This is the personality of a highly energetic, self-assured and ambitious person.

The Motivator is hard-working with high energy and wants to be the best selves they possibly can be.

They tend to be good-looking and charismatic, and even if they are not naturally good-looking they tend to enhance their looks as much as possible.

They are highly competitive, goal-oriented and persistent in whatever they do. People look up to this personality as they set an example and have incredibly high standards in anything they do.

They are very pragmatic and look at what needs to be done in order to gain success in whatever they define success to be.

This means they put their own feelings and thoughts aside in order to "get the job done".

They are highly conscious of their own image and always want to portray a "smooth" look (charming, good style, manners, etc), to come across as the ideal person.

They learn what others like and starts to project this image as best they can.

"First impressions matter" is their motto and they always want to make a great impression.

One of the big problems The Motivator has, is, due to their excellence in creating and projecting the perfect image, they lose touch with themselves.

Being a master of masks means you start to lose touch with who you really are deep down.

Further, it also makes any praise or admiration basically worthless to The Motivator as they know that people are actually just praising their "acting".

Finally, this is also the personality the western world most wants to commercialise and sell; "Be all you can be! Become better! Be the best version of yourself with this!".

Because of this, many may wrongly believe they have to become this personality, even if it is not their personality, as society tells us this is the person they most want; "Mr. Right" or "Mrs. Right".

Trying to assume a personality that does not fit may lead to temporary success, but will lead to unhappiness later on, as you deny your own self leading to self hatred and hatred with the world.

Example of The Motivator: Arnold Schwarzenegger, Tony Robbins, Tom Cruise, Britney Spears, Dwayne Johnson

 

Healthy Level

 

At a healthy level The Motivator is an outstanding person. The person who simply always seems happy, energetic, is unapologetically themself and can say whatever comes to mind; "You look great, that dress looks so lovely on you!".

At this level, they are inner-directed.

The have learned to listen to themselves, find out what they want instead of what society wants.

They no longer seek the admiration of others but are content with just being who they are.

A master of masks, disguises and images they create an image they want to portray clearly who they are, rather than what others want them to be.

Because they are deeply content and love themselves truly, they now are able to truly inspire and motivate others to be the best version of themselves.

The Motivator at this level understands their own limitations and shortcomings, they have self-deprecating humor and can laugh at this, too.

At this level, they are also highly charitable and benevolent, seeking to help everyone around them build better lives for themselves.

To always want to become "your best self" you also must always believe you are not enough, but at this level The Motivator has learned to be content with who they are and learn themself, while also simply enjoying the journey of improvement.

They do not punish themselves for coming up short, instead they compliment themselves on their efforts.

In essence, The Motivator at this level is a charismatic, authentic, high-energy and achieving person who loves themselves, loves helping others and loves achieving.

 

 

Normal Level

At a normal level The Motivator starts to become very competitive with others.

They now believe deep down they have to compete for admiration, love and praise.

Because they cannot, and do not know how to truly love themselves.

At this level they do not truly love or accept themselves and therefore must seek this love externally from others.

And how will they achieve this? By doing what they do best; achieving.

They turn to what society wants as the guidelines for what they need to achieve, high-status job, intense career, large income, big house, expensive car, status-objects, etc.

They take all of these objects, cars, houses and carefully craft an image they believe society will love.

And from this they hope to receive compliments, admiration and love from society.

But although they may receive these compliments and admiration, they realise deep down this is not directed towards them, but rather towards their image, car or other material things.

This can be the explanation of a lot of unhappiness among wealthy people.

They have not gained this wealth because they love themselves, but instead they have gained this wealth because they seek love from others.

This obsession with crafting the perfect image extends even further than simply their careers and possessions.

They also want to create the "perfect family" or the "model home". They even see their children as parts of their image and therefore their children must also meet their standards in both skills and appearance.

As The Motivator descends lower they start to appear narcissistic, promoting themselves and their achievements overtly.

 

Unhealthy Level

At this level The Motivator is fiercely competitive and have started to completely lose touch with themselves.

Rules are now meant to be broken and they will do anything to achieve what they seek.

Even if it means unethical behaviour.

This can be seen in a movie such as The Wolf of WallStreet, where ethics and morals are valued below achievements and status.

They now also do not care if they have to lie about their achievements or status.

This can also lead to financial ruin, as they spend to portray a lifestyle that is completely beyond their means and unrealistic.

At this level they also do not care if opportunities come at the expense of others; "I can sell this really expensively and make a fortune!", or "Let's raise the price of this medicine, it will be great for our profit margins and next earnings call"

 

 

 

 

An Overview Of The Motivator

What The Motivator truly wants and cares about is achievement and improvement. 

But just like everyone else, The Motivator needs love.

The difference between very healthy Motivators and less healthy ones, are if they are able to give themselves this love or seek it externally.

Once The Motivator starts to seek love externally they instantly lose touch with themself and who they are.

They also understand deep down if they have to change themself to gain love, they are not truly loved for who they are, and therefore no amount of status or wealth can ever fill their void.

They can never truly be happy until they learn to fully accept and love themself.

The capitalistic world we live in today was designed for Motivators to thrive, but it was not designed for them to be happy. 

 

 

Parental Orientation

Growing up, The Motivator sought love and affection from the nurturing figure (commonly the mother, but can also be father or older sibling, or if none of these are present, it can be the grandmother or grandfather).

They figured out that to get this affection they would tune in to the desires and hopes of the nurturing figure and present themselves accordingly.

The nurturing figure did not need to explicitly state these desires, because The Motivator, was, even as young, highly intuitive and sensitive to what was unsaid, and adjusted their behaviour according to what produced approving looks and smiles.

If the nurturer was troubled and did not provide enough love and support, The Motivator will start to become an approval-seeking machine.

If the nurturer was deeply troubled and put unrealistic expectations on the child, The Motivator will now be doomed to a life of constant worry and anxiety of being enough.

This may be the reason why some world-class athletes have deep psychological issues.

Without proper affection, love and care, The Motivator will enter the beginning of descending into doing anything for approval.

As Motivators become adult they repeat this pattern in doing things to get the approval of others.

But they do not just want the approval of anyone.

They want the approval of people they perceive to be higher status than themselves, people who they themselves admire.

Having a fragile sense of self, Motivators may start a lot of relationships but end them once they get too "personal", as they are frightened deep down that if the other person truly got to know who they are, they will leave them.

The biggest fear of The Motivator is being seen as "a loser" and they will do anything to avoid this from happening.

They have felt in the past their authentic self being rejected, like showing their parent a painting only for them to look at them with a blank stare and reply; "Oh, that's great honey."

Growing up they also learn what earns the approval of who they admire such as getting good grades; "You got an A? Wow! That's fantastic! We'll have to celebrate."

This further enforces their belief that they have to put their own needs aside as their true self has been rejected.

They cannot believe that anyone would love them truly as they are.

Yet if they want to achieve true happiness and peace, they must have the courage to show the world who they truly are.

Otherwise, they may end up succesful in the eyes of others, but deep down know only the feelings of sadness and rejection.

 

 

 

 

Ego Orientation

The Motivators ego is dependant on achieving great things.

The Motivators ego depends on their achievements and how others view them, as can be characterised by this inner monologue; "I just bought this really expensive Ferrari, but Michael got even more praise from this vintage Aston Martin. I need to be better".

 

At Their Best

At their best The Motivator is a high energy and happy person who loves to constantly improve and achieve. They inspire the people around them by setting an example of excellence in whatever they do. Further, they gently push and motivate the people around them by guiding them to also become the best version of themselves (never forcefully, only through mutual accept).

 

At Their Worst

At their worst The Motivator becomes increasingly unethical and desperate to try and earn the love and approval of others through achieving. They develop an unhealthy "whatever it takes" mentality. They are fiercely competitive and do not care if they have do put others down or undermine them in order to shine themselves. They seek approval externally and reject themselves internally.

 

 

 

 

What To Avoid

Being Mr. or Mrs. Right is what The Motivator does best, creating the ideal image of themself.

By creating this image they hide behind a facade, and this leads to further abandonment of their true self.

 

They need to understand the difference between improving and achieving for themselves rather than doing it for others.

When they achieve for others they start projects or work they do not want to do.

And by doing what they do not like they can start to feel as if they are "punishing" themselves.

Which leads to further self-hatred.

 

It is important to understand that approval from others feels great and can be enjoyed, but should never become an addiction or necessity.

Rather, true approval should come from within.

 

 

 

 

What To Do

The Motivator must learn to fully accept and love themself.

This means dropping the facade, letting go of perfection and start showing the world who they really are.

They must have the courage to create intimate relationships where they reveal the full side of themselves, with flaws and less desirable qualities, and accept the chance of being rejected.

They must approve of themselves from within and explore who they really are and what they truly want to do.

It is important for them to learn to let go of their fiercely competitive drive and understand they do not need to compete, because they are already enough.

Further, they need to let go of their desire of material things and status that they seek in order to get approval from others.

 

 

 

Major Subtypes of The Motivator

 

The Star

The Star subtype is the charismatic, extroverted and attractive person.

The celebrity, actor or politician.

The person who knows how to "turn it on" in order to impress others (putting on a big smile during a public event even when they are sad deep down).

This person is sociable, outgoing and friendly.

The born networker.

They know how to reach out to people, connect and create relationships that can help them achieve things.

They know how to be seductive, charming and do not mind dressing up in flamboyant looks that demands attention.

The Star is very image conscious and therefore also a master manipulator.

 

The Professional

The Professional is the much more introverted, quiet and sensitive type.

This type places less emphasis on interpersonal skills and more on achievement, recognition and doing things that matter.

They also value intellect, integrity and characters over looks and charm.

Being introverted this subtype has a better understanding of themselves and great self-knowledge.

This allows them great intuition when it comes to themselves and others.

They are also more sensitive, creative and possess a strong sense of style, as well as a strong appreciation for aesthetics and finer things in life.

They are hard-workers, task-oriented and presents a serious demeanor.

They seek to master their craft in order to excel both in terms of knowledge and skill in the field they have chosen to be their occupation.

They are self-assured and confident, but being sensitive they are also prone to large amounts of self-doubt in periods.

Swinging back and forth between self-doubt and confidence may eventually lead to burn-out and they will have to figure out how to balance these two feelings accordingly.

This subtype may place too much emphasis on the approval of people they admire and put their entire self-worth into their work and projects.

They are also prone to grandiose fantasies. 

 

 

 

Final Thoughts

As we can see The Motivator has created an identity based on the desire to constantly improve themselves and excel within anything they choose.

They are highly demanding of themselves and have a very competitive spirit by nature.

To truly become their best selves they must learn to fully accept themselves with all of their mistakes and flaws as well as give themselves the approval they crave deep down.

Everything written here is my understanding and simplification of this personality type.

If you truly want to understand this personality type in depth, I highly recommend reading the book Personality Types by Don Richard where this information is extracted from.

The pages for this personality type is 95-133.